• Description text goes hereA provision in some life insurance policies that allows the policyholder to access a portion of the death benefit early if they have a terminal or chronic illness. Can provide funds for care without selling the policy entirely.

  • The basic self-care tasks that indicate a person’s functional status: bathing, dressing, eating, toileting, transferring, and continence. The level of assistance needed with ADLs typically determines what level of care is required.

  • A daytime program providing supervision, social activities, and sometimes medical care for seniors who need assistance but live at home. Allows family caregivers to work or take breaks during the day.

  • A legal document specifying a person’s wishes for medical treatment if they become unable to communicate those decisions. May include a living will and healthcare power of attorney.

  • A VA benefit providing additional monthly pension payments to wartime veterans (or surviving spouses) who need help with activities of daily living. Can help cover assisted living, memory care, or home care costs.

  • A pricing model where one flat monthly fee covers all levels of care, regardless of how much assistance a resident needs. Provides financial predictability as care needs increase.

  • A progressive brain disorder that slowly destroys memory and thinking skills. The most common cause of dementia.

  • The grief experienced before an expected loss, such as watching a parent decline. A normal emotional response that can occur throughout the caregiving journey.

  • A residential care option for seniors who need help with activities of daily living but don’t require intensive nursing home care. Typically offers private apartments, meals, housekeeping, medication management, and ADL assistance.

  • Counseling and support services for family members after the death of a loved one. Often included in hospice care for up to 13 months following a death.

  • A short-term financial arrangement offered by some senior living communities allowing families to move in while final funding is being arranged (such as waiting for a home to sell or benefits to be approved).

  • A tiered system used by assisted living communities to assess and price the amount of assistance a resident needs. Typically ranges from Level 1 (minimal) to Level 4 (extensive). Each community defines these levels differently.

  • A written document outlining the specific care and services a resident will receive. Created after an assessment and regularly reviewed and updated.

  • A state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that occurs when caregivers don’t get the help they need or try to do more than they are able.

  • A healthcare professional (often a nurse or social worker) who coordinates care for patients, especially during hospital stays and transitions.

  • A gradual decrease in mental abilities including memory, thinking, judgment, and reasoning. May be normal aging or may indicate a condition like dementia.

  • A one-time fee charged by most senior living communities when a resident moves in. Often equivalent to one month’s rent and typically non-refundable. Also called a move-in fee or entrance fee.

  • A person appointed by a court to manage the financial affairs of someone legally declared unable to do so themselves. (Term usage varies by state.)

  • A senior living campus offering multiple levels of care—independent living, assisted living, and skilled nursing—in one location. Allows residents to transition as needs increase without moving.

  • Non-medical care that helps with activities of daily living. Unlike skilled care, custodial care does not require medical training and is NOT covered by Medicare.

  • An umbrella term for a decline in mental ability severe enough to interfere with daily life. Covers many conditions including Alzheimer’s disease.

  • A hospital staff member (often a nurse or social worker) responsible for coordinating a patient’s transition from the hospital to the next care setting.

  • A medical order instructing healthcare providers not to perform CPR if a patient’s heart stops or they stop breathing. Must be signed by a physician.

  • A legal document granting someone authority to act on another person’s behalf in financial and/or legal matters. “Durable” means it remains in effect even if the person becomes incapacitated.

  • An attorney specializing in legal issues affecting older adults, including estate planning, Medicaid planning, guardianship, and long-term care planning.

  • The waiting period in a long-term care insurance policy between when you become eligible for benefits and when the insurance company begins paying. Often 30–90 days.

  • A designation indicating elevated likelihood of falling. Falls are a leading cause of injury and hospitalization among seniors.

  • A mortgage product allowing an adult child to purchase a home for a parent to live in as their primary residence, often at owner-occupied interest rates.

  • A professional (usually a nurse or social worker) who specializes in assisting older adults and families with long-term care arrangements. Also called an “Aging Life Care Manager.”

  • A legal relationship where a court appoints a person to make personal and/or financial decisions for someone determined unable to make decisions for themselves.

  • A legal document designating someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you become unable to make them yourself. Also called a “healthcare proxy.”

  • Healthcare services provided in a patient’s home, including skilled nursing, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. Some services are covered by Medicare when ordered by a physician.

  • Specialized care for people with terminal illnesses (life expectancy six months or less) who have chosen to focus on comfort rather than curative treatment. Covered by Medicare.

  • More complex daily tasks needed for independent living: managing finances, medications, shopping, meal preparation, housekeeping, transportation, and using the telephone.

  • Senior housing for older adults who are mostly self-sufficient but want a community setting. Typically includes meals, housekeeping, and activities but does not include personal care assistance.

  • The sale of a life insurance policy to a third party for a lump sum. The buyer becomes the new policy owner and beneficiary.

  • A legal document specifying a person’s wishes regarding medical treatments in end-of-life situations when they cannot communicate those wishes.

  • Insurance designed to cover costs not covered by regular health insurance or Medicare. Typically pays a daily or monthly benefit toward assisted living, nursing home care, or home health care.

  • A joint federal and state program providing health coverage for people with limited income and resources. Unlike Medicare, Medicaid can pay for long-term nursing home care and, in some states, assisted living through waiver programs.

  • The process of reducing assets to meet Medicaid’s financial eligibility requirements.

  • The federal health insurance program for people 65 and older. Covers hospital stays, doctor visits, and some skilled care. Does NOT cover long-term custodial care, assisted living, or memory care.

  • A specialized type of senior living for people with Alzheimer’s, dementia, or other cognitive impairment. Features secured environments, specially trained staff, and programming for cognitive engagement.

  • A hospital classification where a patient is considered an outpatient rather than an inpatient, even while in a hospital bed. Observation stays do NOT count toward the 3-day qualifying stay required for Medicare to cover skilled nursing care.

  • An independent advocate who investigates and resolves complaints on behalf of residents in nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Every state has a Long-Term Care Ombudsman program.

  • Medical care focused on relieving symptoms and improving quality of life for people with serious illnesses. Unlike hospice, palliative care can be provided alongside curative treatment.

  • A legal document granting one person authority to act on behalf of another in specified matters. See also Durable Power of Attorney and Healthcare Power of Attorney.

  • A licensed care home in a residential neighborhood—typically a converted house—providing assisted living services for a small number of residents (usually 4–16). Also called a Personal Care Home (PCH) or Board and Care Home.

  • Temporary care provided to give family caregivers a break. May be provided in a senior living community, adult day program, or through in-home caregivers.

  • A patient’s right to be discharged from a hospital only when there is a safe and appropriate plan in place for their continued care.Description text goes here

  • A professional who helps families find appropriate senior living communities based on care needs, preferences, location, and budget. Services are typically free to families, with compensation coming from the communities.

  • A facility providing 24-hour nursing care and medical services for people who need intensive care or rehabilitation after hospitalization. What most people call a “nursing home.” Medicare covers up to 100 days after a qualifying hospital stay.

  • The number of staff members available to care for residents at any given time. A lower ratio (more staff per resident) generally indicates more individualized attention. Always ask about this during tours.

  • The federal agency providing services to military veterans, including healthcare, benefits, and the Aid and Attendance pension benefit.

  • Organizations helping veterans and families access VA benefits. Examples: American Legion, VFW, Disabled American Veterans.

  • Research finding that a surviving spouse’s risk of decline increases significantly after a partner’s death—physically, cognitively, and emotionally. Common trigger for caregiving conversations.

Book Specific Terms


These terms are specific to The One Decision Rule framework.

  • A decision-making tool that identifies the one decision that matters most by asking four questions: What matters most right now? Where am I emotionally? What is sustainable? What is the safest next step?

  • Kelley’s comprehensive service model combining senior placement, home purchase options, and funding solutions for families who need care now and can’t afford months of uncertainty.

  • The daughter who becomes the primary caregiver by default—often without explicitly choosing the role—because she shows up, lives closest, or has historically been the responsible one.

  • An emotional regulation tool used throughout the book. GRACE: Ground yourself, Recognize reality, Acknowledge emotions, Choose clarity, Embrace the process.

  • The five-step framework at the heart of this book: Awareness, Assessment, Alignment, Action, and Aftercare.

  • The core principle: when everything feels overwhelming, focus on making just one decision—the next right step. Reduces overwhelm and restores momentum.

  • A framework describing the three competing perspectives daughters must navigate: siblings’ opinions, parent’s wishes, and your own assessment.

  • Common roles that emerge during a parent’s care transition: The Martyr (sacrifices everything), The Avoider (denies the situation), The Critic (has opinions but doesn’t help), and The Ghost (disappears when things get hard).

  • The three factors families care about most when choosing senior living: Cost, Care, and Convenience. Care and Cost take precedence when trade-offs arise.

  • The author’s term for someone who guides families through the caregiving journey—going ahead to notice the terrain, mark safe paths, and gather necessary tools.

This glossary is intended as a reference guide. For specific medical, legal, or financial advice, please consult appropriate professionals.

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